I have a great deal (not allowed to say “a lot” – this is not good English) to think about at the moment.  The results of some recent biopsies are hogging my brain time and that is not healthy.  To top it all, I received the most appalling email yesterday…..  I nearly fell apart.  It hit me very hard before what’s left of my brain kicked in and I realised it was viral spam shite.

On days like those, I need to clear my head and rediscover my perspective.  So BeAnne and I went for a walk on the beach.  I didn’t take Loki because I wanted it to be simple – just my little friend and me.

BeAnne did some playing.  She loves the water and dived into the streams that flow into the sea.

There was some running when I threw her a bit of dried grass.  There weren’t any sticks about.

The waves were beautiful.  Not huge but just right.

And so I did my thinking.  I tried to put everything into the correct “sock drawer” in my head.  I hope I succeeded as all I can do is wait really.

Walking on the beach is my idea of bliss.  That and riding my horses.

BeAnne’s idea of heaven is swimming.  She was very happy and loves it when it is just us together.

My little otter.

And now she looks like Dennis the Menace’s Gnasher!

Ho hum, what will be will be.  I can’t change anything.  I don’t want sympathy.  I am just telling you what is going on in my life at the moment.

I think there might be more walks along here before I get the results.  The NHS wheels grind very slowly and my over-active brain is over-thinking everything.

Bloody Google!

I haven’t ridden Klængur (pronounced Klang-gurr) for ages, many months even.

Haakon (pronounced Haw-Kn) is lame having lost his shoe and I  wanted to go out for a ride to clear my brain.  Jo rode Hetja (pronounced Hett-ya) who was an angel, as always.  

I rode my ginger boy who tried his best but managed to spook at a rogue daffodil, potential trolls who lived behind a house and a man doing his garden.  Klængur’s overactive imagination worked overtime but he wasn’t scary.  I stuck on and he was listening by the end (and puffing) while I came home with a smile on my face.   Mission accomplished.  The best therapy.

Meanwhile, the bebbies were galloping about their park like ants on a hot plate.  It was lovely to watch them bouncing and chasing each other in the sunshine.  They interact with each other now and it usually results in a cheeky opinion or three.

When we came back from our ride, we gave them their afternoon food. I think they had earned it with all their galloping about earlier.

Jack rallied.  I am so pleased and relieved.  His little wagger (tail) has started to work again and he is much happier in himself, so we have given him a reprieve for the time being.  OH and I are very aware of Jack’s signs of going downhill and we will just go along day by day and see.  The clock is ticking, we are not fooling ourselves.

After two biopsies for me this morning, I am feeling rather sensitive so I thought I would blast out the NHS cobwebs and go for a ride.  I caught Haakon and discovered that he had lost a new-to-him front shoe, but I tacked him up anyway as it was a short ride, got on and found he was lame as well as very uneven.   Jo and Fiona went off on Taktur and Iacs anyway without me.  My own fault – I only wanted to ride Haakon today.

While they were out, I took some photos to keep myself amused.

Once back, we gave Taktur his grub, had lunch ourselves and I set off to Sandness where the other Icelandic horses are.

My dear friend, Klængur, wanted a chat and it was lovely to see him.

Esja is growing up – she is at the gawky giraffe stage but you can see her personality shining through and get an impression of the type of person (ok, horse) that she is.  Another treasure.

Hetja is coming along leaps and bounds with Jo riding her regularly.  Hopefully, she will be running with Taktur this summer and I am very excited about that.

Oh yes, the bebbies are fine.  I will write more about them soon.

They are little sweeties!

Jack, Jack, Jack.

What to do with Jack.  This morning he changed.  He was not himself and couldn’t settle.  Obviously ancient, he sleeps all day.

I returned from my weekly flute lesson having decided to make The Decision.  I fed the horses and while Taktur was mucking around with his food, I put Jack on his lead, fitted his manly coat and off we went for the daily walk.

It didn’t take long for me to see Jack was not happy.  He was existing and not enjoying life.  That is not what I want for him.  Time to call it a day.  So, having discussed it with my OH, I phoned the vet and booked him in at “the back of 4” (10 minutes past four, give or take – Shetland-speak).

Then my OH was talking to Jack and found smelly goo coming out of his neck.  Upon investigation there, unbeknownst to us, was a revolting abscess.  I cut the fur back, washed the wound in dilute iodine, had a good squeeze and phoned the vet to put off the putting to sleep.

A slug of Rescue Remedy all round, plus a large dose of antibiotics I just happened to have and Jack seemed settled and happier.

OH then found two more holes – how had we missed these?  We investigated and decided that this needed to all be looked at by the vet.  Jack’s neck was solid, swollen with pus/blood and obviously painful.

So, I phoned the vet back (3rd time) and explained that we wanted our original appointment back and would be coming in with Jack now with his abscess.  I explained what treatment we had given to date and OH went off with Jack in the car.  I did give him the dreaded option if necessary.  My priority is Jack lives and enjoys life for Jack and not for us.

I spent the next hour watching the front door.  They came back.  Jack was shaved and the vet had pretty much done what we had.

Jack is still not himself – so blind, so deaf and still existing.

I am not sure we have done the right thing.  I will give him 24 hours.  If there is no improvement in his head, i.e. he starts to enjoy life again, then we will think again and go back to Plan A.

Healing vibes please for my little Jack(et Potato) though I will admit I think I am kidding myself.

I looked out of my bedroom window this morning and there were no horses.  My vista covers 98% of the field I put the horses in yesterday.  They had vanished.  Not a horse to be seen. 

Then I noticed something.  The gate to the next field (only about 30 acres small) was open – PANIC!

As I had two NHS appointments today, one in Lerwick and one at my local Health Centre, I did not really have enough time to go traipsing around looking for hidden horses.

Luckily the Gods smiled.  Aha!  I found them snoring behind the shed, the only blind spot.

Taktur was removed and taken to his food and I left the lads to get on with their morning snooze.

Sadly once up, they all had other ideas.  Begging.  This is the garden gate.  So I set BeAnne onto them.  I do not tolerate standing by fences trying to look thin.  They are not convincing.

Fat chance of food with the emphasis on the word FAT!

Taktur was eating his Handsome Prince food.  The tyre is to stop him putting his foot in it and tipping the world’s most expensive horse feed all over the place (that is boring and very irritating).

Bjørn, his trainer, has also asked that Taktur has a haynet.  So I left him with his tied up on the shed door.  He ate about half of it and then wandered off unenthusiastically.

I found him asleep outside my front door.  I give up – I can’t force him to eat or put on weight.  I am holding out for the spring grass.

Zzzzzzz