The Family Photograph

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My morning’s after-breakfast job was to try and sort out OH’s ancient but much-loved (and now fully backed up, yay!) Macbook which had gone on the fritz again. I thought I had mended it a few days’ back but obviously not.  It’s the cursor – it keeps freezing on one account.

Anyway, this time I brought in the experts!

Once mended (hopefully, don’t make me go into Terminal or look for plists to delete), Monster needed to rest.  He thought he’d worked hard.

I love how the way Ted stands like a sentry nearby and you can almost hear Monster saying “I got here first and you’re not getting the bed”.

And then Pepper was wandering past so I asked her to sit as well and I would try for a family photograph.

Perfection (though I wish Pepper looked a bit more enthused).

And, so you know, I want to rename Monster “Bao” or “Baozi”, as in Chinese dumpling. I don’t know why. It just came to me.

Best Be Prepared

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I spent the morning on a Zoom meeting with a variety of visitors.

And then in the afternoon, after talking it over with OH and Daisy, I made the decision to pack an overnight hospital bag, just in case of emergencies.

My back-pain changes daily (never of course getting any better) and I am scared that I might develop Cauda Equina Syndrome.  What I am experiencing now is not dissimilar and if it is, then it will be all systems go with blues and twos to hospital.

Symptoms: Severe back pain, saddle anesthesia (numbness in buttocks, inner thighs), sciatica (often both legs), and bladder/bowel dysfunction (e.g., incontinence, loss of feeling).

However, as I don’t have the bladder/bowel dysfunction bit (I have everything else), I don’t think I am quite there yet. I will make an appointment for Monday to see the locum GP in residence just to set my mind at rest.

Anyway, Pepper helped by pushing clothes off the bed.

And there was lots of giggling which took my mind off packing my bag.

And then she sat beside my bag as if to say “if you go to hospital, I am coming too”.

I could happily tolerate hospital if Pepper was with me.  Anyway, let’s hope it doesn’t come to anything and my imagination is just playing fast and loose with me. There are plenty of other explanations – like meralgia paresthetica or something else.

Tiny Little Signs

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This morning while feeding everyone, I heard birds singing and I realised I hadn’t heard them in a while and I had been missing them.  They were very loud and happy.

I got out my phone and, using the bird-song identification app, I found out who was making all that wonderful racket.  I also dispute these findings as I am sure there was a blackbird around too.

I even saw two oyster-catchers at Sumburgh, when I went to fetch Daisy a few weeks back, though they maybe winter residents (some do stay) rather than the migratory ones.  And, ok, they’re not flying around-type wild birds, but my Muscovy ducks are all looking at potential real estate at the moment.  I keep meeting them in pairs in odd places around the croft.

So, thing are a-changing. I can feel it – even though I was trudging around in the snow this morning.  They really are going to change. I shall keep telling myself this.

And, and, and….. the snowdrops have appeared in our garden which is a definite sign.  I need this. I need to know there is a chance that spring might appear in the not too distant future.  There is a light at the end of this long hard winter tunnel.

Screenshot

Gussie’s New Friend

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Thank you for all your kind words of understanding, help and support – they mean a lot and today I feel much better about the whole rotten situation. I have decided that, as it is out of my control, I just have to go with the flow with the immense support I have. The animals (touch-wood) are all fine and we will get through this.

(one of my Support Team)

Though he’s fairly dodgy.

It’s been a chilly day. We woke to find there had been a hard frost overnight and now all the water pipes were frozen solid.  Luckily, apart from the sheep, who got a fresh bucket from our store of fresh water, no one else needed water lugging to them.  They are all in fields with streams flowing through them.

Later, when we put the ducks/hens to bed, Daisy let the sheep back in from their field, which they are sharing with the Shetland ponies.  They know the routine and were waiting ready to come home.

‘Bert of course immediately walked up to Daisy for a scratch and then Gussie (who suffers hugely from “Stranger Danger”) thought he could perhaps investigate Daisy too.

I think someone has seen the error of his ways now.

Awww, my boys.  All my children.

But Lambie was unimpressed. Daisy belongs to him so he grumbled a bit (grinds his teeth at you in annoyance) and wouldn’t let me give him a consolation hug.  He is a stroppy sheep.

Meanwhile Gussie was in 7th heaven which probably made Lambie crosser.

And Gussie had brought his snacks along too.  Non-sharing, though, obviously.  They’re for later. Just in case he feels peckish.

Disappointed

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There are actually not enough Tunnocks teacakes (the dark chocolate ones) in the world for how I feel today.

This morning I phoned the Pain Clinic to see what time to turn up on Monday for my much-needed spinal epidural injections only to be told that my appointment has been cancelled.

The re-scheduled me for March 2nd, the next clinic.

I cried.  Honestly, I know its not anyone’s fault but this is a huge mountain for me.

Just when I thought I could possibly see the end, it has been swiftly taken away from me.  I now have to endure two more weeks of chronic back pain along with shifting sciatica (now front upper and inner thigh) and its not easy to live with.  The pain is unceasing and eroding.

Usually by now I would be making a large flock of sheep to sell when the cruise ships arrive in early spring but now I have no stock as I can’t sit for long periods (the sciatica won’t let me) and think I will have to close my little field in Lerwick.  So that’s an essential source of funding gone.

I’m feeling very sorry for myself today.  Life is not good, not good enough and I am tired and don’t have control of my life.  Someone else is making decisions about me and, in my opionion, they’re not doing a very good job of it.

And there’s more snow forecast.

So now I am even more fed up.

(but the sun did make an appearance today and there was lovely blue sky too. And Monster got “The Bed”!)