My Brother

From my childhood

“Who put salt in the sugar bowl?

Who put fireworks in the coal?

Who put a real live toad in the hole?


Who put jam in mothers shoe?

Who made real caterpillars stew?

Who locked Grandad in the loo?


My brother said it wasn’t he who put shampoo in Grandma’s tea

My brother said that it was me!

My brothers rotten!

Who squeezed toothpaste round the hall?

Who put soot in the baby’s ball?

Who drew things on the garden wall – MY BROTHER!

He looks just like a chimney sweep
But dirt they say is just skin deep.
I know he’s good when he’s asleep!
(but you don’t know what he’s dreamin’ about do ya?)

Who wouldn’t mind if I ride his bike?
Who lets me shoot his gun if I like?
Who says I’m best at Football, Ludo, Snakes & Ladders, Hide & Seek,
Chasin’ each other up and down the garden, pinchin’ little girls up the high street?
Well he’s gotta say I’m best ’cause I’m bigger than he is and if he don’t say I’m best at everything, I’ll bash him.

Come on, come on mate, lets get out of here before you fall down the hole in the middle
Come on give us your hand’ we’re gonna walk …
‘ere what you had in your hand?
‘ave ya?



(seriously bad move, Dreki!)

Lyrics – Mitch Murray / Terry Scott – I was brought up with this!


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