How Are We Doing

This is an update of how we are doing without Her Maj.

Well, our lives are pretty empty.  There is a big yawning gap. Myself, I see her everywhere or at least I expect to see her.  A level of sound (and smell) is not there (the tippy tappy of claws on the kitchen floor, the bash of the door when she wanted to be let in, the barking at all intruders), the snoring.  We all miss her more than words.

Monster is very odd now. He is lonely and sits mainly on her blanket. There is one in Daisy’s room too which he loves.

Monster is not very communicative with us at the moment.

He just wants his quiet time – though it might be because he is eating at least a rabbit a day.

(He does love BeAnne’s special blankie, though).

A lot.

He is also spreading outward more.

As is his fur.

And so I occupy my days with making sheep, trying to go for a walk, riding, doing stuff and taking photos. I have little enthusiasm at the moment for my photography.  Everything is an effort and there is no fun because I don’t have my constant companion shuffling about with me.  She was always with me.


I took this on one of my late evening walks, just as the sun was thinking about going down, around 9.30 pm.

I don’t really have any plans – such a large part of my life has gone.  I am existing at the moment rather than living.

14 thoughts on “How Are We Doing

  1. Sam

    As my vet would say “be gentle to yourself right now. You lost a family member”
    Monster, in his own odd way, is also missing the Little Queen of the house. Hence the blanket napping.
    We all understand if you need time to just be and not post as much. Even though I never met BeAnne in person, this blog brought her into my life. Thank you for sharing her with us.

  2. Celeste

    You’ve suffered a big loss and grief takes its own time, it’s different for everyone. Doing nothing is ok. Be extra kind to yourself and know that many of us care about what you are going through.

  3. Jayne

    Well, of course you are existing not living. A massive, massive part of you is gone and you are grieving. As, probably, is Monster – animals feel loss too.

    Coincidentally (saddo that I am) earlier today I was reading my own blog posts from a couple of years ago when my own dearest girl died. One of those odd days when it was very comforting to see her pictures and reading some of the lovely comments from blog friends.

    One of the things I had written was how quiet the house was – so I do understand. Take care of yourself. x

  4. Carol Wood

    Allow yourself to grieve. We lost our cat at 15 years a couple of weeks ago made harder by the fact we’re getting on in years so won’t have another. Take comfort in the fact that she’s now free to chase them pesky rabbits to her hearts delight and is free from pain.

  5. Kate Woolley

    Dear Francis, you need to find somewhere alone and cry. Not just for BeAnne’s passing, but for yourself.
    She will always be with you. She will never leave you. ❤️

  6. Judith Garbutt

    Cyber hugs – it’s so understandable. You may not have much enthusiasm for anything but the photographs are still superb and cheer me up each evening so thank you for giving such pleasure despite how you’re feeling. xx

  7. Polly Ellison

    So sorry to hear your news! I have just lost my boy little Timmy Tensyn (Monday) so know and understand the pain! With such love I know they will still be around us now free of pain! x

  8. Dot

    Your flower photos are particularly lovely, they bring joy to others although you cannot feel it for yourself. When I lost a beloved cat at 15 years old I had 6 months deep grief, grieving is normal, and natural, and respectful to ones we have lost.

  9. Louise Stopford

    Give yourself time Frances. It does take a lot of time. We lost our two dogs in 2007 and we can still break our hearts over them. It’s odd and maybe some people would not understand this, but I have grieved more over lost pets than people. Give Monster a cuddle for me.


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