I don’t know why, but I have got into a total state.
I have my first post-op six week appointment with my Consultant Surgeon tomorrow in Aberdeen. On the boat tonight and I haven’t a clue what to pack. I am full of the “what-ifs”, like what if I am admitted to hospital because I had that fall? What do I need to pack? I seem to have lost all my kaftan nighties which are brilliant for hospital/ferry. Bugger. They are in a blue rucksack that has vanished from the Hobbit Hole that is my house (according to Daisy!)
I am panicking and I need help.
Her Maj is trying to be supportive, but sulky, as she knows I am going away. She is keeping my bed warm.
I have huge anxiety about this trip. I am not like this normally. This is not me but I don’t want to go and I am scared I won’t cope on my own. I am suffering also from regular hot flushes (yes, the obvious). It is all adding up.
I can’t decide what to take. Daisy kindly ironed a shirt so I don’t look like a country mouse (and yes, that is Wussums on the kitchen work surfaces which is shameful but you try telling him). She has been my fashion consultant too.
I have made a list of things to say like how do I reduce my painkillers, admit my fall last week, ask what the future is…..
Do you think anyone would mind or notice if I took some moral support to keep me grounded? BeAnne could be my Thinking Dog for the Stupid, have a little coat and look after me on the boat and in Aberdeen, though I would be barred from every shop after the appointment and/or taxi.
OH asked if I had any Rescue Remedy and then said “you don’t need a dropper of it, you need a St Bernard with a barrel following you!”
I am now getting a headache with the worry. Oh FFS Frances, you have done this a million times. How difficult is it to get on a boat and get on with it? This is only something like the tenth time I’ve done it. I am shaking.
(Can I take Whiffy with me?)