I woke up with the mother and father of all migraines so I stayed in bed sleeping, while it rained and rained and rained.

When I woke up, I could see that it has made a huge difference very quickly in both the garden and the surrounding fields.

The grass will now get the kick-start it so desperately needs and grow.  We will then all worry about how fat everyone is getting.

OH’s garden is starting to bloom. I wandered about with my camera just taking the usual weird shots.

It is always lovely to see some colour after such a long dull and boring winter, except for those fab Northern Lights.

BeAnne is back to her usual self, if a little reticent about life in general.

Jo came over with some squeaky toys to cheer the dogs up.  In his youth, Jack loved a squeaky toy and he made it his life’s work to kill the squeak,  He used to be vicious to the point that squeaky toys were banned in our house.  But, today, he wasn’t interested at all.  He did try to be polite, though.

Usually, Jack would’ve ripped the squeak out of it in seconds.  So BeAnne took over because Jack didn’t want it or care.

This is not like Jack. I am worried about him.  If you had asked him if he liked Celt when he was alive, he would’ve said no, he was an old fool who got in the way and in his bed.  But now Celt has gone, Jack has no old fool to hate and he is lost.  I will buy some Zylkene next week and see if that helps otherwise we might lose him too.  I hate seeing Jack like this.  It is not his usual belligerent self where he contentedly loathes the world. He was such a happy Grumpy Old Man.  He even sat at my feet.  He has never done that.  He has daily Rescue Remedy.

And on Monday, I can drive! Woo hoo.  I can get out and about again.  Can’t wait.

All vibes for Jack now, please.  (sorry, you will have run out of vibes soon)

Your thoughts, words and deeds have all been amazing. It has helped to get the last few days into perspective. So, thank you.  A very humble thank you from me.

I woke up this morning with a huge sense of relief with the belief that we had done exactly the right thing. Celt was happy now.

Instantly, however, the pack dynamic has changed hugely.  BeAnne is welded to me or going around without guidance and committing heinous crimes because her mentor (for her entire life) is not here.

Jack is very strange.  He can’t cope at all.  I am not sure what to do about him.  He is a very lost soul.  He, too, is thought to be old but he wasn’t visibly particularly fond of Celt.  Apparently he stood guard over Celt’s body while we did the deed.  Just standing, watching.  I am giving him daily Rescue Remedy and we are making a special fuss of him to try and bring him back into our world.

Anyway today, we moved everyone equine into the big hill park.

I fed Taktur and put him in to rejoin the others.  Instantly Indy wanted a dust-up.

Taktur remained far away from everyone after that.

I have made the decision that Indy can go and join his ladies on Sunday leaving Taktur with the rest of the boys to enjoy a peaceful summer.

Oh yes, and it’s Haakon and Iacs’ birthday today.

Haakon is 19 and Iacs is 18 years old.  They are 1st cousins, I think.  I bought Haakon first for myself.

And then a few years later, we bought Iacs. They recognised each other instantly, which was very sweet.

Happy Birthday boys. xx

Come on, Celt, in your bed.

When you ran, you looked like you were flying.

You taught BeAnne everything, all her manners.

You put up with her and were so kind when she used to bounce asking you to play with her even when you didn’t want to.

You were the Batman to her Robin and we would laugh as we watched you together while you took the time to teach her how to be “a proper dog”.

You were our family.  Everyone who met you loved you.  Never a cross word, ever.

You were loved and now there is a huge gap.

Sleep well in front of a warm fire.

xxx

I was waiting for Bjørn, Taktur, my 4 year old stallion’s trainer to arrive.

He asked me to go and get him out of his field as he had hurt his foot, thinking that someone else would be around that I could delegate this job too.

As there was no one, I walked (very carefully, I promise), across the hill, went into the field, where Taktur approached me, almost put on his own headcollar, followed me back to the gate.  I opened it, he walked through, did a turn on the forehand to wait while I tied up the gate and then followed me back across the hill to the indoor school.

I did not touch the rope that was draped across his neck.

I then spent the next few minutes taking a few snaps, like you do.

I have never met a 4 year old stallion quite like Taktur.  He is incredible.  Not only ridden, but his attitude.  I can’t describe it.  If Bjørn had asked me to fetch any other horse (including possibly Haakon) out of the field today, I would’ve said no, my back is not up to it.  But, because it was Taktur, I knew everything would be alright.  He would be a calm, dignified gentleman.  There is never any meanness in him, no boyish games, or seeing whether there is a chink in anyone’s metaphorical armour, Taktur just does whatever you ask him.  He is very different from your average 4 year old stallion – a wise head on young shoulders who just wants to do what you ask him to do.  If you pat him to say thank you, he glows with pride and shines and tries even harder the next time.  It is lovely to watch.  He has a huge sense of humour with his herd – the best of friends with Haakon, but when it comes to people, all bets are off, he just knuckles down to do the very best he can every time.  You never go back a stage, always forward.

Jo returned Taktur to his field, after Bjørn had finished training him, as she turned up later whereupon Taktur rolled and became very slightly less handsome!

Some info and older pics. ….

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Do you ever have days when you just want to withdraw quietly from society?  You know, close your Facebook account and regain anonymity?

I woke up at 05.00 and went outside.  Just me, the sea-fog rolling in, the birds and OH’s garden making the effort.

And then BeAnne turned up.

That’s all I need really. Her and me.  Some times I find the world is just too much and I want it to go away and leave me alone.  Jo calls them “ten feet away days” and she is right.

I need a drawbridge.

So, I went back to bed – the road to recovery is long but I always have canine company, so never lonely.

And, at the moment, I want to be left alone to get on with it.  It is my own fault.  I keep looking at other people’s lives and feel absolutely no affinity with anyone.  Outside is another world and I don’t feel like I belong to it or ever will, to be perfectly honest.