On Monday morning, I received a phone call from The Pain Clinic at our local hospital, Gilbert Bain Hospital, or GBH as it is colloquially known here.

The nice nurse said they had my referral from my GP and the anaesthetist was going away on holiday. My heart sank into my boots.  She then said but they had a spot for me…… tomorrow at 11.30am.  I jumped at the chance and, in an instant, accepted.

Then plans had to be made as to how I would get there – a 50 mile round trip – bearing in mind I cannot sit at all.  I rang my GP and was given the number of Patient Ambulance Transport where I spoke to a lovely lady who took all my details and then informed me that due to lack of resources they were unable to help.  I cried.

So, the question was how to get to GBH by 10.30 tomorrow morning lying flat on my back. I phoned Jo, my business partner and friend, who has a transit van.  I informed my GP and surgeon that this would have to be my chosen, though thoroughly illegal, mode of transport but there were no other options so “needs must when the Devil vomits in your kettle” as we say in this house.

Jo, of course, came to my rescue and arrived at my door with her van kitted out with a small mattress in the back.  I took my blanket, two hot water bottles and some Phenergan because it is a very sicky way to travel.

We chatted all the way there with me looking at the ceiling and clutching my hotties trying not to get more and more scared.

Apart from the on and off blizzard conditions, the roads were clear.

We arrived safely and Jo dropped me off saying she would return after she had done her messages in a couple of hours.

This is my you-have-no-idea-how-terrified-I-am face (and the diet begins tomorrow).

So, I went in and they did revolting things with needles to my spine and there was a lovely nurse who held my hand while they pumped neat gin into a vein and kept me off the ceiling.

A few hours later, Jo returned and took me back home with all her shopping.

Nursing staff were instantly on hand when I got back to my own bed.

They have been there to attend to my every whim and need.

100% devotion to the job, of course. Bless her, that’s my pillow!

I feel a bit sore but hopefully things will get better now.