Long and boring – sorry – I am trying to work out what is best by writing it down.
BeAnne is hard work at the moment. In her mind, she is slowly wandering away from us. I also think she is almost totally blind too.
Having found Her Maj fast asleep outside in the garden a few times today (and it is not warm), I wonder if she knows where she is. While she wants to wander about the enclosed yard around our house, she can’t because of Maggie – who butts first and thinks afterwards. Maggie goes where she wants because I don’t want her stressed this late in her pregnancy and she refuses to be with the others. Our garden is nice and big but she wants to visit her old haunts.
This afternoon I took BeAnne to Clothie (my five acre field) so she could have fun “hunting” like the old days.
She enjoyed that.
On the way home, BeAnne headed off on a mission to peruse the old-sheep-shed (a favourite place) but I was terrified Maggie would get her in a corner and pound her.
So I followed to keep her safe.
I watched BeAnne find a little escape route that she thinks I don’t know about as she set off again.
Feeling that BeAnne obviously wanted to potter and exercise is good for her, we went into the big field, where the old men are currently living. I lifted her over the fence and off she motored at quite some speed. She can’t half shift when she wants to.
I watched BeAnne find some little rabbit holes.
And then she fell, there was a leg in each and she was stuck. I gently lifted her out.
And off BeAnne trundled, determinedly walking towards the steep cliff-like sides of the stream oblivious to me trying to head her off at the pass. In the end I grabbed her, put my coat sleeve through her coat like a lead but giving up half way and carried her home. She is very heavy!
I spend my day trying to keep her safe and worrying while she lives in her own world. Today it was too much.
Sadly, I think slowly wandering away is exactly what she is doing. An old and increasingly feeble animal in a herd or pack does exactly this, and will quietly go away to sleep the sleep of eternity.
You can only support her, keep her out of danger, and continue to offer your love and protection. It is so sad and so hard to bear, but I know without any shadow of doubt that you will keep her comfortable, safe, and if possible, contented. I feel so sorry for you all, it never gets any easier to lose a friend and she has been your special girl.
I so feel for you – such a difficult time when old age creeps up on our special friends. It’s good that BeAnne still wants to mooch about and to hunt but worrying when you’re not convinced she knows where she is. I had a Jack Russell terrier who developed significant dementia when she was about 13 years old and she also lost her sight but she remained happy to go for walks on a lead – it seemed to give her confidence and it meant I could stop her bumping into things. I guess it would be very odd for you and BeAnne when she’s been so used to running free but might be worth a thought for the future.
She was on a lead to Clothie but I stupidly left it behind when we went for our next amble.
They can be a darned nuisance but have a think about an extending lead then she might still feel free!
Yes, I agree; her instincts are kicking in, she’s getting more feral. Keeping her safe is the best thing you can do…
Cathy said it so very well! May you find comfort and peace.
Day by day, Frances. And she was pottering around. Good thing. Not the SAME BeAnne, but YOUR BeAnne! <3
It’s hard when your beloved animals are getting older and things go wrong with them. I worry constantly about my animals (sure they will be the death of me!!). I think one of my middle aged chickens has had some sort of stoke. She is so different and her eyesight seems to have failed. Keep BeAnne safe and take comfort in the fact she is still enjoying a mooch around.
BeAnne is aging on you but clearly she is happy and well loved and most secure in you watching out for her. Hugs from Little Miss Maine Coon and me.