Tag Archives: spine

Best Be Prepared

I spent the morning on a Zoom meeting with a variety of visitors.

And then in the afternoon, after talking it over with OH and Daisy, I made the decision to pack an overnight hospital bag, just in case of emergencies.

My back-pain changes daily (never of course getting any better) and I am scared that I might develop Cauda Equina Syndrome.  What I am experiencing now is not dissimilar and if it is, then it will be all systems go with blues and twos to hospital.

Symptoms: Severe back pain, saddle anesthesia (numbness in buttocks, inner thighs), sciatica (often both legs), and bladder/bowel dysfunction (e.g., incontinence, loss of feeling).

However, as I don’t have the bladder/bowel dysfunction bit (I have everything else), I don’t think I am quite there yet. I will make an appointment for Monday to see the locum GP in residence just to set my mind at rest.

Anyway, Pepper helped by pushing clothes off the bed.

And there was lots of giggling which took my mind off packing my bag.

And then she sat beside my bag as if to say “if you go to hospital, I am coming too”.

I could happily tolerate hospital if Pepper was with me.  Anyway, let’s hope it doesn’t come to anything and my imagination is just playing fast and loose with me. There are plenty of other explanations – like meralgia paresthetica or something else.

Disappointed

There are actually not enough Tunnocks teacakes (the dark chocolate ones) in the world for how I feel today.

This morning I phoned the Pain Clinic to see what time to turn up on Monday for my much-needed spinal epidural injections only to be told that my appointment has been cancelled.

The re-scheduled me for March 2nd, the next clinic.

I cried.  Honestly, I know its not anyone’s fault but this is a huge mountain for me.

Just when I thought I could possibly see the end, it has been swiftly taken away from me.  I now have to endure two more weeks of chronic back pain along with shifting sciatica (now front upper and inner thigh) and its not easy to live with.  The pain is unceasing and eroding.

Usually by now I would be making a large flock of sheep to sell when the cruise ships arrive in early spring but now I have no stock as I can’t sit for long periods (the sciatica won’t let me) and think I will have to close my little field in Lerwick.  So that’s an essential source of funding gone.

I’m feeling very sorry for myself today.  Life is not good, not good enough and I am tired and don’t have control of my life.  Someone else is making decisions about me and, in my opionion, they’re not doing a very good job of it.

And there’s more snow forecast.

So now I am even more fed up.

(but the sun did make an appearance today and there was lovely blue sky too. And Monster got “The Bed”!)

Grot Day With Hope

It remains horrible outside and I am beginning to feel sorry for the Shetland ponies.

Should I move them perhaps over to this field – 5 acres I was saving for the old horses and ponies.

Daisy arrives tomorrow to take over from Flossie and I will ask her then.  I could always give the Shetland ponies haynets hung on the gate.  That’s a possibility but it involves lugging.

Meanwhile, I remain pretty much bed-bound as I find sitting for long periods very difficult.  I try and do a different chore each morning just to see if I can, and mostly end up taking to my bed to lie flat because my back puts in it’s objections.  I feel sore all of the time and painkillers really are my last resort. I am trying to avoid them if I can.

I phoned the Pain Clinic to be told I might be seen in mid-March but was on the list if there was a cancellation.  I resigned myself to the long wait when the phone rang this afternoon, and I was told there have been a cancellation and I will now definitely be seen on the 16th February.  So that is excellent news.  I am hugely relieved and I know I said previously never again, but I’ve hopefully negotiated immense knock-out sedation this time so the procedure should be bearable.

But my worry now is the animals. There seems to be no let up in this weather for the time being.

On my inside, I threw some carrots at the Shetland ponies and told myself things could be a lot worse for them, and me.

Took to my bed

Last night, I crawled into bed immediately after supper and stayed there, armed with valium, naproxen and an acupressure mat determined to get my back under control.  Recently it has been deteriorating and last night was the final straw that literally broke this camel’s back!

Come morning and I felt rested but tentative knowing full well what is the trigger.  Lugging things.

Still, it was pretty outside as there had been a lot of snow fall, with some huge drifts too.

Impressive!

And I couldn’t get to my shed to finish my Christmas Lego either.

The horses and ponies all went out after their big breakfast and spent their day eating or asking to come back inside.  We ignored them.  Pepper buggered off to the neighbours *** sigh ***.

Meanwhile, I spent my day in bed, lying flat (no extra pillows) with my Painpod zapping away and a variety of visitors and did nothing, absolutely nothing.  Gosh, it was nice.  I just rested, played a few games on my iPad and listened to the radio.

We don’t have the heating on during the daytime so I was well wrapped up and under the covers keeping nice and warm.

And I had a hot water bottle on my lap, which confirmed that Monster was a heat-seeking missile in another life.

Anyway, a day in bed, getting up only to do the animals, has been lovely. I shall get up and cook supper later, do the last check of the big shed inhabitants and go back to bed to continue creeping through the Great Pyramid of Eygpt looking for clues……  so far I’ve only managed to leave my tent!