Tag Archives: chronic pain

Home Now

Well, I’m back home now with a much-needed cup of tea, two Tunnocks and Marcus Aurelius (who came along for the journey just in case I needed him).

The whole procedure (caudal epidural steroid injections) all overmy lower back) wasn’t as bad as past times and I had some sedation which helped sufficiently, and I made my feelings very clear when it didn’t.  Only my lower back was treated but there will be investigation into my shoulder/neck/arm pain at a later date because I cant have injections in both sites simultaneously.

So now I am resting in my cave for a few days – Flossie has taken the helm.  I have a headache and started the steroid flushes but those are both to be expected and I am not concerned.

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement, sympathy, thoughts and prayers. I felt you were all very much in the room when I needed you most.

All Ready

I like to be organised and I will admit that I also like writing lists. So this morning was spent packing my bag for hospital tomorrow where I will get my caudal steroid injections as a day case. I am wearing my favourite (and very worn out with holes) shirt.

Though, I also have an overnight bag ready just in case because you never know and I don’t want OH to have to drive all the way back for it.  Best case scenario, I will bring it home and unpack everything unused.

Sadly, there is no room in my bag(s) for this small doglet and I know she would be perfect for keeping my feet on the ground as I am totally over-thinking this whole hospital procedure to the point of feeling like being sick with fear.  The last time was horrendous while they scraped me off the theatre ceiling.  So things have to be bad if I’ve asked to have this procedure again.

I am telling myself I will just have to think of my happy place, man up and do my best, insisting on a huge amount of sedation (I want to be knocked out), as promised when I went to discuss this with the anaesthetist at my last appointment.

(and, yes, I am in a terrible dither)

My sheep supplies are increasing now.  I made this little chap today.

And then I made this one too, staying a little longer in my shed as it may be a few days before I get back in again.

Floss sent me this photo from this morning.  I want to be like Monster. His ability to sleep absolutely anywhere is a talent and one I could do with.

Wish me luck. Think of me tomorrow.

Disappointed

There are actually not enough Tunnocks teacakes (the dark chocolate ones) in the world for how I feel today.

This morning I phoned the Pain Clinic to see what time to turn up on Monday for my much-needed spinal epidural injections only to be told that my appointment has been cancelled.

The re-scheduled me for March 2nd, the next clinic.

I cried.  Honestly, I know its not anyone’s fault but this is a huge mountain for me.

Just when I thought I could possibly see the end, it has been swiftly taken away from me.  I now have to endure two more weeks of chronic back pain along with shifting sciatica (now front upper and inner thigh) and its not easy to live with.  The pain is unceasing and eroding.

Usually by now I would be making a large flock of sheep to sell when the cruise ships arrive in early spring but now I have no stock as I can’t sit for long periods (the sciatica won’t let me) and think I will have to close my little field in Lerwick.  So that’s an essential source of funding gone.

I’m feeling very sorry for myself today.  Life is not good, not good enough and I am tired and don’t have control of my life.  Someone else is making decisions about me and, in my opionion, they’re not doing a very good job of it.

And there’s more snow forecast.

So now I am even more fed up.

(but the sun did make an appearance today and there was lovely blue sky too. And Monster got “The Bed”!)