These days every morning, without fail, the Icelandic horses are the wrong side of the burn (stream).

And every morning, without fail, I shout for them to come over because I am not struggling down there with three big buckets of food when they have perfectly good legs and could walk.

And, yes, I do shout all of this while I watch them dither trying to chose who will make the first move.  It’s not going to be me.

Today, it was Iacs.  His single pea-like brain cell kicked in and he crossed the burn, quickly followed by Kolka and Haakon who know full well I would actually feed all their breakfasts to any horse that turned up.

Breakfast in my colour-coded buckets.

(L-R)
Pink – Iacs with his cancer drugs
Blue – Kolka – same as Iacs’ minus the drugs
Yellow – Haakon who doesn’t like normal boswellia that is added and has to have the world’s most expensive arthritis supplement but, to be fair, has been his game-changer in quality of life.

Iacs was first up.

And this is the face of an old lady on a mission.

So the horses got their respective buckets and after this photo, I clambered over the fence to keep Kolka away from Iacs.

I had, of course, my little assistant helper who suddenly rushed off after a rabbit she saw.

I had a quick prod to see if there were any ribs.  Luckily, none. Phew!

I am always fascinated by their ability to stay warm.  You can see how their outer winter coat goes into points so the rain will drip off, while remaining dry underneath.

And the belly is lovely and floofy too.

I am glad this herd are managing without rugs so far.  That is a slippery slope I don’t want to go down unless I really, really have to.

I can’t dwell on Storm’s death.  I have to move on. My animals need me and it is certainly not the time to sit and do nothing (I can hear my mother’s voice in my head very loud saying this).

And possibly Monster’s (even louder).

The Shetland ponies are still on their never-ending diet.  I tell myself it is for their own good and I must be firm.

Every two days, they get a bit more field to eat which will eventually become the winter track.  Today, I opened a new bit for them and they were very pleased.

The snow is not helpful and the ponies have to work hard to find their grass but only during daylight hours.

But dig and find food, they do and they don’t seem to be suffering on this meagre amount of forage.  They get haynets at night to keep them going.

I spent my afternoon in my shed making a sheep to hopefully sell one day.  It is always good to have stock, I tell myself.  Someone will give him a home eventually.

It feels like I am just going through the motions now, trying hard not to live in the what-ifs, and where-did-I-go-wrong scenarios that won’t stop playing through my head.  I wish they would stop.  I can’t turn back time.

And I miss Storm more than words.  I miss his sense of humour.  Who is going to make me laugh now?

The snow is still here.  It thaws during the day, then freezes at night so the roads are perilous and everything takes forever to do.

Despite this, we are all coping pretty well.

Yesterday, I put out some haynets for the Icelandic horses.  Just in case they were still hungry.

They politely tried them and then walked away so I know they are not struggling.  Sometimes I see someone having a little.

The little ones are all outside now, but Fivla and Vitamin come inside at night as they can’t manage haynets – not got the teeth for them.  They get buckets instead, which they think are great.  Two old ladies trot, yes, trot into the shed as the sun is setting.  It is sweet to see.

Dahlia and Guss turn up for food, and I like to think to say hello.

But, it is mostly food.  I am a realist.

Hay for all and it is always finished.  Again, sheep can dig for the grass and it is perfectly visible in places.

As I was going inside after doing the afternoon chores, I played a quick game of “Spot the horses”.  It took a while for me to find the third.

So, we’re doing ok (raw and emotional if I think about it) and thank you for your kind words.  They were appreciated.

I am sitting here, not wanting to write this…

Rest in peace, Storm.  Sleep well.  I am so sorry – I feel like I failed you horribly.

(I left him last night, inside, nibbling on a haynet, considering a bucket but he died overnight).

❤️ Storm  (2013 to 2024) ❤️
Forever in our hearts.
Run free, and don’t forget to buck a lot while you create chaos.

I am very worried about Storm.  He is just not improving in any way. All the others are nearly back to normal, but not Storm. He is not eating, he is so depressed and I am at my wits’ end to know what to do next.

So, today, I put him outside with the others for the daylight hours dosed up on painkillers to see if that would give him back a bit of spark.  I could see that he was pleased to see his friends and I am sure it brightened him up a bit but he is still very disinterested in food.  I am now wondering if his teeth are hurting as I’ve seen him doing funny things with his jaw while he is eating.  Typical, just after the equine dentist’s visit too. Spring will be in his next visit.

I do think, however, that breathing in fresh air and being with all his herd might do a little good, even if only mentally.

The weather is not helpful – flurries of hail or snow or sleet.

And through all my poo-picking, haynet soaking, buckets and moving ponies, etc, I have a faithful helper, no matter the weather.  Pepper is always with me.  I know the electric fence is working too – she zapped herself and came running to me.

I will talk to the vet tomorrow and see what can be done.  In the wee small hours, when I am worrying, I am almost thinking about putting Storm to sleep.  He has no quality of life at the moment and is going backwards, not forwards. I just wish he was interested and happier and eating, eating anything would be good.

Please can I have all your healing vibes, prayers, thoughts and wishes for Storm.  I feel like crying.