I can’t dwell on Storm’s death.  I have to move on. My animals need me and it is certainly not the time to sit and do nothing (I can hear my mother’s voice in my head very loud saying this).

And possibly Monster’s (even louder).

The Shetland ponies are still on their never-ending diet.  I tell myself it is for their own good and I must be firm.

Every two days, they get a bit more field to eat which will eventually become the winter track.  Today, I opened a new bit for them and they were very pleased.

The snow is not helpful and the ponies have to work hard to find their grass but only during daylight hours.

But dig and find food, they do and they don’t seem to be suffering on this meagre amount of forage.  They get haynets at night to keep them going.

I spent my afternoon in my shed making a sheep to hopefully sell one day.  It is always good to have stock, I tell myself.  Someone will give him a home eventually.

It feels like I am just going through the motions now, trying hard not to live in the what-ifs, and where-did-I-go-wrong scenarios that won’t stop playing through my head.  I wish they would stop.  I can’t turn back time.

And I miss Storm more than words.  I miss his sense of humour.  Who is going to make me laugh now?

The snow is still here.  It thaws during the day, then freezes at night so the roads are perilous and everything takes forever to do.

Despite this, we are all coping pretty well.

Yesterday, I put out some haynets for the Icelandic horses.  Just in case they were still hungry.

They politely tried them and then walked away so I know they are not struggling.  Sometimes I see someone having a little.

The little ones are all outside now, but Fivla and Vitamin come inside at night as they can’t manage haynets – not got the teeth for them.  They get buckets instead, which they think are great.  Two old ladies trot, yes, trot into the shed as the sun is setting.  It is sweet to see.

Dahlia and Guss turn up for food, and I like to think to say hello.

But, it is mostly food.  I am a realist.

Hay for all and it is always finished.  Again, sheep can dig for the grass and it is perfectly visible in places.

As I was going inside after doing the afternoon chores, I played a quick game of “Spot the horses”.  It took a while for me to find the third.

So, we’re doing ok (raw and emotional if I think about it) and thank you for your kind words.  They were appreciated.

I am sitting here, not wanting to write this…

Rest in peace, Storm.  Sleep well.  I am so sorry – I feel like I failed you horribly.

(I left him last night, inside, nibbling on a haynet, considering a bucket but he died overnight).

❤️ Storm  (2013 to 2024) ❤️
Forever in our hearts.
Run free, and don’t forget to buck a lot while you create chaos.

I am very worried about Storm.  He is just not improving in any way. All the others are nearly back to normal, but not Storm. He is not eating, he is so depressed and I am at my wits’ end to know what to do next.

So, today, I put him outside with the others for the daylight hours dosed up on painkillers to see if that would give him back a bit of spark.  I could see that he was pleased to see his friends and I am sure it brightened him up a bit but he is still very disinterested in food.  I am now wondering if his teeth are hurting as I’ve seen him doing funny things with his jaw while he is eating.  Typical, just after the equine dentist’s visit too. Spring will be in his next visit.

I do think, however, that breathing in fresh air and being with all his herd might do a little good, even if only mentally.

The weather is not helpful – flurries of hail or snow or sleet.

And through all my poo-picking, haynet soaking, buckets and moving ponies, etc, I have a faithful helper, no matter the weather.  Pepper is always with me.  I know the electric fence is working too – she zapped herself and came running to me.

I will talk to the vet tomorrow and see what can be done.  In the wee small hours, when I am worrying, I am almost thinking about putting Storm to sleep.  He has no quality of life at the moment and is going backwards, not forwards. I just wish he was interested and happier and eating, eating anything would be good.

Please can I have all your healing vibes, prayers, thoughts and wishes for Storm.  I feel like crying.

The snow has arrived, as you can see from this morning’s muck-heap photo. It’s not much but enough to cause disruption on the roads and make work outside colder and more difficult.

After breakfast, I found this lot all together, all getting along, which makes me very happy to see.  It’s take quite a while.

Meanwhile Lambie and Barrel had discovered Dahlia and Gussie’s hay in their wee shed.  “Honestly, you two, you have your own hay”.  They scarfed down the lot.

But it is lovely to see that Dahlia and Gus-Gus are finally accepted as being part of the flock.  I hope the problems are now over and they all just go around together. That would be perfect.

Maggie and Barrel have been the problem but seem to have got over themselves.

“Yes, Maggie, you!”

Gussie and Dahlia even came down to the shed when I opened the field gate in case anyone was cold and wanted to come home. We have had intermittent showers of snow and hail (pea-size at times that hurts) all day.  It’s not much fun outside and I do feel very sorry for them.

(and the local pheasant has reappeared, to see what we have in the way of food).

But we are coping and I am trying not to worry about the potential water-pipes-freezing situation which will be the next thing.  I currently have many containers full of water in the big shed, where it is warmer from the ponies living in there.