I can’t dwell on Storm’s death. I have to move on. My animals need me and it is certainly not the time to sit and do nothing (I can hear my mother’s voice in my head very loud saying this).
And possibly Monster’s (even louder).
The Shetland ponies are still on their never-ending diet. I tell myself it is for their own good and I must be firm.
Every two days, they get a bit more field to eat which will eventually become the winter track. Today, I opened a new bit for them and they were very pleased.
The snow is not helpful and the ponies have to work hard to find their grass but only during daylight hours.
But dig and find food, they do and they don’t seem to be suffering on this meagre amount of forage. They get haynets at night to keep them going.
I spent my afternoon in my shed making a sheep to hopefully sell one day. It is always good to have stock, I tell myself. Someone will give him a home eventually.
It feels like I am just going through the motions now, trying hard not to live in the what-ifs, and where-did-I-go-wrong scenarios that won’t stop playing through my head. I wish they would stop. I can’t turn back time.
And I miss Storm more than words. I miss his sense of humour. Who is going to make me laugh now?
give yourself time to grieve. Laughter will come in due time.
It’s okay to feel sad and miss someone you love.
Dear Francis, I know how you feel, I really do. 10 years on and I am still grieving over my lovely boy.
He was so kind and loving and I do miss him so. He was an Icelandic, we never did wonderful things, but he was there when I was ill and he helped me through some very bad days. Storm was a happy little man and such a pretty face. Grieving isn’t a sin. It’s our love for them. X
You recognised that Storm was unwell and I suspect that there was something other than laminitis going on for him to have died as he did. I don’t think you could have done more for him in his last few weeks but I understand the “what ifs” – I think they’re inevitable when you don’t/can’t know for certain what is happening to them.
In relation to the other ponies, I think they’re looking just right for the time of year. With your current management they should come into spring nice and slim – a satisfactory result of your endless haynet filling/water carrying/fence moving – sheer dedication. They are so lucky to have you. xx
All of us horse lovers feel your pain, Frances. You are not alone in this❤️ ( altho it probably feels like it)
Suzanne
Hello, thank you for sharing these beautiful photos, I hope they bring you pleasure as they bring to us. Yes your animals need you You can’t do more than you do, I doubt it would be possible. I love you new little sheep, I am in transition now and I’m temporarily homeless while some paperwork gets sorted out for a property I’m buying. As soon as that happens I should be commissioning a sheep. If it is possible to make one that looks like my favourite, Lambie, even better. The weekend is here and I hope you have a lovely one. Carry on.
You might not be able to sit and wallow in sadness, but your grief is important. It is a measure of how much you love.
If you can, be kind to yourself. I know that is a hard ask; six years since my last bereavment and I still miss her every single day.
How are the rest of the herd? Do they show grief, notice that Storm is missing?
Let yourself grieve.. I know nothing about ponies, but as another commenter said, I suspect there was more going on than laminitis. He knew he was loved, and picked his time. Do what you need to do. ❤️
Oh, I am so sorry and I know that’s inadequate for your loss. Our animals are our children also, loved and cared for just the same. Hopefully the good memories will resurface to the front soon. Hugs!